I'm sorry for the long hiatus
life been keeping me busy
I'm back in Shah Alam for my final year, insha'Allah
Alhamdulillah I survived my first semester with flying colours, surprisingly

I'm just gonna write about my life biggest challenge yet, my mama
if you followed me on my instagram and twitter you would know that my mama recently diagnosed with brain hemorrhage
that morning, she woke up perfectly normal
she was doing house chores when she complained about her headache
she tried to lie down and the pain got to her
her words didn't make any sense and she can't even feel that she's peeing in her pants
so me and my bapak rushed her to the nearest hospital

the nurse gave me the oo-oo look
that moment I know deep down there's something seriously wrong with my mama
when the nurse was explaining my mama's condition
I was trying so hard to hold back my tears
I told myself, whatever happens I need to be strong for bapak
I can't hold my tears any longer when Lina and Qama came to see me
and I cried again when Ashli called to check on me

my mama was admitted to ICU for 5 days
during that time, she can't speak properly
words just slurred out of her mouth without making any sense
sometimes, she was taken aback when people visited her as if she knows none of them

she spent another 6 days in normal ward
eating was difficult for her
even sitting for 5 minutes made her tired
her right side of the body was really weak
she was relying on her left side of her body

it's like Allah is saying it's time for you to repay your mother
me and my sister had to feed her, brush her teeth and change her diapers
we had to constantly remind her of her name, who we are to her, who is my dad and such
to this point she can't really grasp the concept of a husband
so she call my dad, boss

we had to teach her how to walk, how to brush her teeth, how to bath, how to eat using her right hand, and how to write
I left the religious duties part to my sister because she is more patience than me
sometimes we caught her crying because she's no longer capable of doing things she used to do easily

Alhamdulillah, she is so much better now
she can recite Al-Fatihah and perform her prayers
she can do light house chores and even talking non-stop
although her words doesn't make sense all the time

we are really grateful to Allah for letting her stay a bit longer
and giving us the chance to repay all of her kindness in this world
I just want to say appreciate your parents
I know this is cliche and you hear it all the time
but once even just one of your parents are helpless
you'll learn what is susah really means
the real susah way
assalamualaikum :-)


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