life is a journey
this is post is written after i look back at old photos of mine.
i tend to get all philosophy-ing after that.
when i was little, i was this fair skin fat baby.
then i grew up i became slim and not so fair anymore.
thanks to all those playing outdoors under miss sunshine.
puberty changed me into a tall and thin young lady.
i remember how i dont smile a lot.
hardly even in pictures.
im in that state where my self-esteem was down the drain due to breakouts.
i remember my picture UPSR, i had a giant pimple right on my nose.
high school taught me lots of stuff.
ones that couldnt be learn from all those textbooks.
i learn to carry myself around people.
my family prefers me to be independent.
i was a student in St. Teresa for a week before i move to Kolej Abdillah.
i went registered on friday so the teacher of my class said i should start on monday instead.
i couldnt recall her name.
she's a chinese woman with a black bob and slang of course.
if im not mistaken she taught us mathematics.
on my first day, my late grandpa dropped me off in front of the school gate.
there was an assembly held.
i asked my cousin efa to wait for me near the hall.
somehow that day she was late for school.
so i went in alone into the hall.
i asked some senior where i should be seated.
it was a chaos beacause they dont know too.
i tried to look for familiar faces.
i couldnt find anyone.
i manage to found my classmates.
i just seat there with them quietly.
after the assembly was over, i found nursa.
i was extremely happy.
we walked side by side until we reached our classes.
in my class, i found nellie and ezzah.
nellie always went down to other class to hang out with ayu.
while ezzah, i remember fizie and was it piqah or tiqah came to hang out with her.
meanwhile i hang out with efa and nursa.
i remember idah was close with ezzah.
its funny to think that when now ...
u know what? never mind.
lets that story be seal.
high school taught me about love.
i learnt to have crushes.
i learnt to value friendships.
i learnt that silent is powerful.
in getting mature.
i learnt that u cant have what u want if it was meant not be urs.
even when u tried hard to get it.
i learnt that sometimes u just have to let go of certain things.
even things u have been holding tight the whole moment.
i learnt that sometimes being ignorant makes u happy.
the most important thing that i learnt is that,
all this while i have not attempt to become a better servant to Allah.
my 18 years of life have been fully used to prepare myself to face the world but never the after world.
i want to become rich so i could have money to shop instead of saving them so i could perform Haji.
i was ungrateful to foods i have when there are others who are dying from starvation.
i stayed up late night to study for my examinations but i still i failed to perform my solat 5 times daily.
i prepared myself for heartbroken but i didnt prepare myself for death which is a sure to come to all creatures of Allah.
i learnt that in everything i do now on, i should turn to Allah because He knows the best.
pray for me that i will become a better person as i'll pray for u too.
may we have a bless Ramadhan because we'll never know it might be our last.
Happy Ramadhan in advance to everyone.