Thursday, January 22, 2015

finally slipped

"Nantilah
 Nak suroh mama cakap dekat bapak
 You might come to see me lah nanti
 So dia tau."

THE DEATH OF ME
I accidentally sent those
that I intended to send to Ashli
to my aunt
STRESS!

I'm going to KL in a few days
like I said I want to meet Ashli
I told my mama about it already
I'm planning to tell my aunt and nenek that I'm going out with my "friend" when I'm already there
BUT I SLIPPED
my fingers to be exact *sigh*

nak nama Allah nak nunjok eh yahhh
I literally talked to mama about telling my dad 3 hours ago
I'm gonna tell him
later
on Sunday
night
because he has to work on Monday
and my flight is on Tuesday

Thursday, January 15, 2015

semester break

assalamualaikum
I'm done with final year, first semester
insha'Allah I'll be graduating by the end of this year
amin yaRabbal alamin
I took 7 subjects this semester just to make sure that I won't have to extend my study for another semester

so that's it
nothing interesting happened
except for
I just found out that I can fit into H&M pants in xs
I KNOW RIGHT
it's been a really stressful semester
so I think I've lost some fat on the tummy area hewhew

I'll be in KL in 12 days
it would be a really sad trip if I can't meet Ashli
tomorrow, my dad is coming back from Pahang
so no bapak-Ashli meeting, I guess
just nenek, ngah, dedek, cik Jang, cik Ida, Danish and Ya
you pretty much dating the whole family when you're dating me
so yeah hahah

it's almost Maghrib
later people
assalamualaikum :-)

Thursday, January 1, 2015

of 2014

assalamualaikum
I just want to wish Happy New Year to my readers!
I'm not sure myself what I've been up to this year
but alhamdulillah here we are!

it has been a non-depressing year for me
because I have a boyfriend for the last 7 months of 2014 lol
no drama like my previous relationships
which I'm really thankful of

concerned of my dad, financially
I just hope I'll finish my degree in time with awesome cgpa
gain great experiences during my internship
and land myself a rewarding job
so I can help my dad out a bit

made new friends
Aireen, Dijah and a lot of friends of my friends
zero enemies
I hope

I attended weddings, graduations, surprisingly involved in UNIMAS events
I'm referring to MAP
met boyfriend's parents (first time)
a lot has happened huh

if there's one thing
I wish to do a lot more of this year
would be feeding myself spiritually
I do feel there's a lot more that I can do
but been procrastinating

anyhoo, on top of my list this year would be
to memorize surah al-kahfi
I suck at memorization!
but insha'Allah I will recognized surah al-kahfi by the end of 2015

I should go to sleep now
I have to send my dad to the airport early in the morning
prolly after Subuh
good night! assalamualaikum :-)

Saturday, December 27, 2014

am I not old enough to date?

assalamualaikum
insha'Allah I'm most probably gonna come to KL in January
to accompany my nenek to do her check up
my dad is not coming along
but I'm really hoping that he would because I will be there for almost a week
so I'm thinking of meeting Ashli

I have a really really really paranoid family
letting Ashli to meet my nenek will not be enough for my dad
that's mean Ashli would have to meet my aunt and my uncle
going out only the two of us means my dad would call me for every 2 hours
to keep my dad at ease, that's mean Ashli would have to go out with
A) me and one of my cousin
B) me, my nenek and one of cousin
C) me, my nenek and my aunt
D) one whole family
this is not a multiple choice question
Ashli is not given any power to choose
that would be depending on my dad's mood on that day

then, I will have to answer to him once I got back
I hate this part right here~
can I just set up a Skype session between my dad and Ashli before we go out later?
stwess amewk atiwt alawk tamewk

I already told Ashli not to tell his parents that I'm coming
not until I figure how to tell my dad about him
kelak mak Ashli suroh ke rumah sigek gik hal yaRabbi
I'm 22 and I still sneak around my dad's back

one of these days
I might actually blurt out "dad, I have a boyfriend" to my dad
just waiting for the right time
I hate waiting urgh
assalamualaikum

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

that unexpected call

it's 6.36 in the morning
still in my telekung because I just need to
I need to write this

it was Thursday night
when me and Ashli started talking
urm almost 8 months ago
the next day, he asked me to go out for dinner with him
which I declined nicely because I was tired and I just reached home by then
what happened on that night was, he got into an accident
how bad?


this bad
yes I still have the pictures
and yes he could lost his life
I still remember that even his dad didn't want to talk to him because he was so mad at him

last night, I was up until 3 something because I can't sleep
I thought he was already home at 3 because he told me he was almost home a few minutes before
(he went out for dinner with his family)
when he stopped replying my Whatsapp, I assumed that he was asleep

it was almost 5 am when Ashli sent me texts saying he's sorry
and I'm like "that's why I've been having an uneasy feeling all night" (like I said, I was having a hard time sleeping)
so I called him and he was in an accident
he's been there probably from 3
and only called me 2 hours after

he was shocked and disappointed for wrecking his car
wandering on the street collecting himself
explaining things to the police
HE DIDN'T EVEN CALLED HIS MUM
auntie called him instead probably wondering why he was not home yet

I'm pretty sure I sounded all calm and collected while talking to him on the phone
but I was tossing around on the bed
waiting for him to call me back once he reached home
(his mum was picking him up)
I'm glad he's not injured
I'm glad the accident was not as bad as the previous one
I'm glad he's alive dammit

and I'm glad a few minutes after it was time for Subuh
I need that
I even need to recite Yassin to comfort myself down
do you know how long has it been since the last time I need to recite Yassin just to calm myself down?
IT'S BEEN A REALLY LONG TIME
and I still can't sleep after all that
I'm getting sleepy now though

I just need to let this out
people, please take care of yourself
I mean it
assalamualaikum

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

I'm so angry right now

I was annoyed
then I got bored
and went out

I was happy
I feel that I could jump around in the mall
then I become angry

it's almost 1 in the morning
and I'm still angry

I hate getting angry when it's almost time for me to go to bed
it makes me difficult to fall asleep

it's not anywhere close to tear
which is a bummer
because crying always make me easier to fall asleep

I hate being so easily affected by people around me
especially people who rarely do bad things to me
it makes me feel guilty for being angry at them

I CAN'T RANT ABOUT THEM IN TWITTER
i can
BUT I CAN'T MAKE IT OBVIOUS

hopefully I'll get tired from all this anger
and fall asleep soon
good night

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

feeling 22

assalamualaikum
guess who turned 22 on last Sunday?
Vanessa Amy Hudgens me of course!
I said it once, I'll say it again.
birthdays are overrated lol

Daneil was really sweet though
he gave me the duckscarve from the Stay Beautiful campaign!
and it was fun to meet up with Aisyah because both of us haven't see each other for quite some time.
I also went out for dinner with Dina and Fatin
I wasn't expecting anything so it was fun to just get out of the house
I even stuffed myself with seafood last night
bapak's treat of course

its the last week of lectures
I'm excited to just get this semester over with already
I'm excited to start sending out my internship application
although I already dropped my resume to some of the companies
mostly oil & gas companies but honestly, I'm not interested to work with those kind of companies

and most of the companies that I want to apply with are not located here
which makes my choices limited because I HAVE to find one that offers allowances
this girl need to eat and I don't think I can reach the office on foot
did I mention the possibilities of the need to rent a house?
but I can crash my cik's or my udak's place
I promise, you won't even realize that I'm there lol

I used my stalking skill for a good use
so I found out that Paramount pays RM750 per month and I can even apply for transport or accommodation allowances
but I'm more interested to do my internship at Astro!
Astro gives out RM650 per month plus RM70 meal allowance
another but, I'll start doing my internship in July which is 1 month behind its intake zzzzz
Groupon pays the intern RM800 per month, yeay!
so I'm considering of applying there.

other than those two, Petrofac stated I should include expected salary in the resume and Kimberly-Clark does compensate its intern too I guess
companies that I want to apply with but I don't think they pay are Star Publication, Padini, Brandthink, Loreal, and Lion Group
Malaysian Times offers an internship but Star Publication stated that it will let an intern to contribute contents, so yeay!

let just say, I am a marketing student but I'm not interested in sales department
I'm more interested in advertising and journalism
which I have not let my dad knows that if I'm pursuing my master degree
it'll be in communication majoring in either one of these two

it's almost 10pm and I have not taken my shower yet
so I should go now
I'll write again later
assalamualaikum :-)