Thursday, August 27, 2015

finally another update

I've been meaning to update my blog
but I accidentally deleted the draft zzzz

okay first thing first
this is my 7th week of internship
another 5 weeks before it all ends insha'Allah *insert lagu NV*
the song is not related to this post
but its so annoying that it's been playing on repeat in my head

last two week, Ashli was in town
I bought some cupcakes to celebrate his belated birthday
ordered them from a junior of mine
you can click here for her Instagram account

me and Ashli went to our first open house together
at PROTON hahaha
everyone was like "Ashli nampak kurus!"
it's the baju guys
tipah tertipu

I was not aware of this picture
taken by my dad
he posted it on his Instagram
yes he has one
he brought Ashli for a short tour in my kampung
and told the elders that Ashli is his menantu
even Ashli was taken aback by his words
sabar okay

freaked out over a Whatsapp that Ashli's mom sent to me
it says, thank you bahahaha
because I helped Ashli out to buy her caftans
you're welcome with a smiling emoji saved the day pheuw

oh! found this picture in Aunt Julie's Facebook account
it was from Dan's and Farah's wedding
Inara was like "I have a really weird family"
I bet she looked like this
close up

last but not least, happy 26th anniversarry bapak and mama!
thank you for funding me for 25 years!
insha'Allah masih bernafas and dah ada kerja by 25 tahun
amin ya Rabbal alamin
that's it from me
later! assalamualaikum :-)

Saturday, August 8, 2015

from me to you

it's midnight and I'm listening to all the sad songs in my laptop
I'm in one of those mood
I'm on my period
if you're wondering

Ashli is a bit sick
it's been quite some time
he feels like shit
that's how he described his condition
so he's been going to sleep earlier than usual
and I miss him

I know you'd be like
of course you miss him
you don't get to meet him as often as other couple

it's not about seeing him, touching him or heck smelling him
it's about, not connecting to him emotionally as much as I used to
it's been a cycle of good morning, I'm going out for lunch now, I'm driving back now, and I'm home
it's not that it's a bad thing
but I want more

I want more
I want more because it's going to be this same cycle once he's off to UK
there's no more me lying on my bed at the same time as him
because it will be 12.15 am in Malaysia and 5.25 pm in England

he's probably on his way home from class but I'm already on my bed
he will probably want to talk to me because it's midnight over there
but I can't because I'm at work

I want so much from him that I managed to wake up at 3 am because he called
he called because he can't sleep
he called because his tummy hurts so bad

I'm so scared that I'll miss his phone calls
early in the morning
I'm so scared that he'll say that he's got into another car accident
I'm so scared that he'll say he's hurting and no one knows
I'm so scared that he can't get enough sleep because it'll affect him the next day

and there's me
who's been depending so much on him emotionally
don't give me that bullshit
that nothing will change
because it will
and now I need to start to learn to adapt to the changes
and be the most understanding person on earth

it's so hard
just thinking of it
makes me cry
no kidding

I didn't tell Ashli
because hes been feeling like shit
so he needs his sleep
although I feel like shit

thank God I bought that eye masks
I need them
because I can't go to work with puffy eyes

so this is me
sad, scared and depressed
not to mention ugly
with puffy eyes and runny nose
signing out
good night

Tuesday, August 4, 2015


I've been busy with life
therefore, the hiatus

anyway, this is my fourth week of internship
I'm doing mine at PROTON Edar Sdn Bhd Kuching
I'm enjoying my working environment,
the bosses and staffs are friendly,
the prayer room is comfortable,
and the toilets are super clean lol
during my first week, I only went to work for 3 days due to Eid
then started to work again on Tuesday

my Eid was so-so
I was down with fever after the celebrations
insha'Allah ada dosa-dosa kenak hapus ya
and speaking of fever
I feel like I'm catching another one
I think its because of my nenek
she's not feeling well and it sorta affecting me..

I'm signing out
I need to wake up early to send my brother to school because my dad is not around
my nenek is not feeling well
and so does my boyfriend
last night, he called me up sometime around 3 in the morning
because he can't sleep
that's twice this week

nothing interesting happened recently
I hope that explains my abandoned blog
so later
assalamualaikum :-)

Saturday, June 27, 2015


I finally finished with my exams
one step closer to graduating, insha'Allah

having my exams during Ramadhan was a bit challenging
I suffered from hiccup during my first paper and I CAN'T DRINK WATER TO STOP IT URGH
so I spent the afternoon sleeping in the surau with my baby elephant pillow
shameless, I know

I received feedback for internships
probably because its Ramadhan makanya rezeki melimpan-ruah, alhamdulillah
SEDC called me back, Batik Boutique Hotel called me back and Merdeka Palace called me back
I rejected Merdeka Palace because I have to go through an interview beforehand
plus, I just finished my assessment with Harwood Timber Sdn Bhd on the same day
don't ask me which one will I accept because I have no idea
we will just have to see
assalamualaikum :-)

Friday, June 19, 2015

my first ever car accident

I was on my way back from UNIMAS when I accidentally hit the car in front of me
it was my first ever accident so I went out from the car
then the driver, a Chinese girl, who I assumed to be around my age suddenly burst into anger and tears
I talked to her mum because its easier to talk with someone who's not yelling at you
I told her that I will definitely take responsibility because it was my fault
I gave her my phone number, let her took a picture of my IC and EVEN MADE A VIDEO SAYING I WAS SORRY

I called my dad, he wanted to lodge a police report
in case they took an advantage over me
but we managed to settle it nicely
we gave them RM400 as compensation
I guess its somehow somewhat because I was fasting
but I'm definitely will keep a safe distance from the car in front from now

sorry bapak for hitting someone else car using your car
sorry for using your money to pay for the damage *sigh*
I hope my Father's Day card will at least pay 0.01% of it lol

I was thinking of giving this to him
but he doesn't fart that much
I also found another card that I need to stock up after I get married

have a bless Ramadhan everyone
hang in there!
assalamualaikum :-)

Wednesday, June 17, 2015


last night, I had dinner with my girls
it has been 2 weeks
I can't go that long without seeing at least one of them
even if I could, its probably because my boyfriend is around lol

so what's up?
secured a place for internship at Pullman but for certain reason it was pullback due to changes in management
so I need to find new place ASAP

received my fyp's draft back
so many things to do
tomorrow, I have to submit the completed one

I went to KL for Danial's wedding
he is Ashli's brother
it was an impromptu
the wedding was BEAUTIFUL!
check out the photos!

met Ashli's extended family for the first time
let's hope I gave a good first impression lol
people keep asking when will be our turn and everything
we were like not in another 2-3 years
so yeah
now its time to get back to reality

me and si debab Inara just want to wish everyone, selamat berpuasa!
please forgive all of my wrongdoing and may everyone berpuasa dengan penuh kerberkatan.
amin ya Rabbal alamin.
assalamualaikum :-)

Monday, June 1, 2015

the hardest goodbye

Ashli is already back in KL
he spent the weekends over here because its our 1st anniversary
during that 12 months, we were together at UNIMAS for a month, Ashli came to Kuching twice and I went to KL once

is it difficult being in a long distance relationship?
I would say no.
the difficult part is parting away.
this time around, I have no idea if I will able to see him before he fly to UK
so both of us were a bit more emotional than usual

I need to stop having my period whenever Ashli come to see me
the hormone is messing with my emotions
I was okay until Nisa asked if I cried in the car then I started to cry
to be honest, I was crying the night before too because of unidentified reasons

anyway, thank you for coming to see me sayang.
thank you for the ring.
I was taken aback a bit when you dragged me into jewelry stores
but you know I'll wear it and keep it safe

thank you for coming over for dinner
since you can sit with bapak and he even offered you his cigs
I guess it went well
next time around you might want to get ready to be requested to be an imam lol

thank you for respecting the choices I made
thank you for understanding things that I do for myself
thank you for not using my selfishness against me
and thank you for always prepared to explain stupid little things that I can't figure out by myself

I promise that I will still be yours once you come back from UK, InshaAllah
goodnight, assalamualaikum :-)